Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.