How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face