Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.