They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.