you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
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..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?