Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (361): View more from Texas

  I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body

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  (361): I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body http://tfl.nu/4g9m
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.

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  (660): On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics. http://tfl.nu/mn1y
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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  (336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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  (701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (333)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.

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  (719): Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming. http://tfl.nu/flfj
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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  (727): She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it. http://tfl.nu/8d3q
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.

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  (970): I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat. http://tfl.nu/w7x2
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  (845): View more from New York

  i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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  (845): i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask http://tfl.nu/5xm3
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends

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  (517): I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends http://tfl.nu/sky7
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.

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  (845): It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons. http://tfl.nu/somr
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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  (601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing

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  (309): adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing http://tfl.nu/dxv4
  Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (333)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.

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  (859): I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now. http://tfl.nu/jyw8
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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  (914): Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt. http://tfl.nu/ro8e
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....

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  (303): As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak..... http://tfl.nu/pe8z
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