There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.