Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.