Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high