and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.