Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
not ubering you a puppy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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