i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10