i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10