that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
