I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself