Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
