she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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