yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale