You work out of a Hotel?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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