Texts From Last Night · shy4nn3's Favorites

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shy4nn3's Favorites Texts:

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face

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(253): View more from Washington

The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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(512): View more from Texas

Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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