just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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