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My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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