Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.