We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
