Texts From Last Night · jefftruitt's Favorites

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jefftruitt's Favorites Texts:

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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(949): View more from California

you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one

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(713): View more from Texas

the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us

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(618): View more from Illinois

Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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