My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.