im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.