Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Randomize
