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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
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