I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
