Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?