she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face