That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away