The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
