New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.