I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt