i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card