Texts From Last Night · Greener's Favorites

Greener's Favorites Texts:

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(330): View more from Ohio

so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister

(216): View more from Ohio

i hate you

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(330): so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister (216): i hate you http://tfl.nu/9cj0

Replies (43) Good night (22292) Bad night (1511)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj

Replies (18) Good night (6562) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.

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(916): And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides. http://tfl.nu/gjkd

Replies (29) Good night (1425) Bad night (3190) Order T-Shirt
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(702): View more from Nevada

If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???

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(702): If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy??? http://tfl.nu/4rkp

Replies (30) Good night (639) Bad night (4781) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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(605): I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum. http://tfl.nu/8vy8

Replies (13) Good night (4828) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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(971): View more from Oregon

I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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(971): I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger. http://tfl.nu/97wz

Replies (27) Good night (4047) Bad night (3611) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?

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(724): dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....? http://tfl.nu/b2i2

Replies (22) Good night (950) Bad night (10610) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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(816): Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you" http://tfl.nu/hln2

Replies (19) Good night (6852) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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(312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c

Replies (33) Good night (3193) Bad night (3487) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.

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(208): My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat. http://tfl.nu/4rv6

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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(919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day. http://tfl.nu/2twt

Replies (38) Good night (17184) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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(847): Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels. http://tfl.nu/hv8u

Replies (13) Good night (6935) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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(803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m

Replies (36) Good night (1197) Bad night (6154) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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(484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1

Replies (15) Good night (10241) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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(970): Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese. http://tfl.nu/mdbn

Replies (10) Good night (7044) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(248): I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow http://tfl.nu/a3vb

Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt

Greener's Favorites Texts:

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