my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women