Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
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Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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