I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me