Dual....:-)
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
