You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.