The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?