May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.