Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.