You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay