You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay