We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy