Texts From Last Night

Texts from October, 2011

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  (817): View more from Texas

  We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals

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  (817): We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals http://tfl.nu/i9zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1923) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.

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  (914): He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon. http://tfl.nu/hf2o
  Replies (20) Good night (3251) Bad night (504)
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  (925): View more from California

  Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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  (925): Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life. http://tfl.nu/t7ml
  Replies (22) Good night (1193) Bad night (2302) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.

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  (403): also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy. http://tfl.nu/tn0z
  Replies (15) Good night (3624) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

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  (910): This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/41ta
  Replies (6) Good night (2138) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self

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  (845): Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self http://tfl.nu/ea7y
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (1196)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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  (614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq
  Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure

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  (267): dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure http://tfl.nu/1m9t
  Replies (23) Good night (3580) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.

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  (765): A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins. http://tfl.nu/d999
  Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (2415) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  She still cant shoot whiskey?

  (925): View more from California

  Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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  (925): She still cant shoot whiskey? (925): Im having serious doubts about this relationship http://tfl.nu/o90t
  Replies (3) Good night (1201) Bad night (618)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.

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  (778): the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting. http://tfl.nu/qa9b
  Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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  (713): Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere. http://tfl.nu/qua7
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.

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  (216): Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/vbdo
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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  (612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (669)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (8) Good night (3711) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt