Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"