I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
