Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".