Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt