so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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