Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.